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Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Family Problem

mood : (¬_¬") mad

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot. The Indian man said to the American, 'You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love. I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.'

The American said, 'Talking about love marriages... I'll tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.

More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson. And you say you have family problems. Gimme a break!!'

Monday, August 18, 2008

A Smart Son

mood : (-o-)/ tired

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Ernie, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Ernie,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son....

Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Ernie

At 4 am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Ernie

Friday, August 15, 2008

Someone and Sorry

mood : (_ _)zzZz

Lee Sum Wan : Hello can I speak to Annie Wan?
Mr. Sori : Yes u could speak to me...
Lee Sum Wan : No! I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Mr. Sori : You are now talking to someone! Who is this?
Lee Sum Wan : I'm Sum Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's 
urgent!!!
Mr. Sori : I know you are someone and u want to talk to 
anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Lee Sum Wan : Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother was 
involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being 
sent to the hospital. Right now Avery Wan is going to the hospital...
Mr. Sori : Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to 
the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may find 
this hilarious but I don't have time for this....
Lee Sum Wan : You are rude. Who are you?
Mr. Sori : I'm Sori
Lee Sum Wan : You should be sorry. Now give me your name!
Mr. Sori : I'm Sori
Lee Sum Wan : I don't like your tone of voice Mr. and I don't care, 
give me your name!
Mr. Sori : Look lady, I told you already I'm sori! I'm Sori!! 
I'm SORI!!! You didn't even give me your name...
Lee Sum Wan : I told u before I'm Sum Wan! Sum Wan!!! You better be 
careful. My father is Sum Buddy, and my uncle holds a very big position 
in the company. He is Noe Buddy... :D

Thanks to Koko Herr for this Jokes !!!

Poem to Make You Smile

mood : p(^^)q fight!

Roses are red, violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in a cage but laughing at you.

Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

The rain makes all things beautiful
The grass and flowers too
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

I wrote your name on sand, it got washed
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away  
Then, I wrote your name on my heart
And...
I got a heart attack straight away...

God saw me hungry, HE created pizza
HE saw me thirsty, HE created Pepsi
HE saw me in dark, HE created light 
HE saw me without problems, HE created YOU. :r